Confessions of a Weight Watcher

I am more than happy to share my good days so think its only fair to confess my sins on one of my worst days.

Yesterday was a disaster !

Why do I do it, everything is going great, back on track and losing again and then it goes wrong.  This list of food is not for the faint hearted and I think I could give Man v Food a run for his money but here goes

9.00am - Bacon and Sausage Sandwich - (not a small one either) bought from a sandwich van that come around work.  this is what happens when you don't have breakfast before you go to work and don't make the effort to take any.

9.45am - Malteser Cake - same sandwich van and 100% down to no will power.  Worst bit was it wasn't even that nice, mine tastes better but it didn't stop me inhaling it.

11.30am - Cadburys Twirl

1.30pm - McDonalds McChciken sandwich Meal, Large of course, with diet coke hoping the word "Diet"makes what I have eaten not so bad - yeah right !!

Mid afternoon - Cadburys Caramel- inhaled, ate it so fast don't really remember it.

5.15pm - Packet of Ritz Crackers - bought for my son but opened the multipack while driving home and one bag gone, guess I should be pleased I only ate one.

6.30pm - Mini Pizza and a few potato wedges - my brother had a small Halloween party for the kids and I wasn't having food but gave in, scarily when no one was looking.

7.45pm - Jumbo Sausage and chips for the chip shop - now not enjoying food but still eating it.

After 9pm - Pickled Onion Crisps, 4 or 5 chocolate fingers

                            

Omg what a pig I was - when you write it down, (because I obviously didn't track any of it) it looks worse than I remember.  But then why would I remember as most of it I ate with out thinking.

Now to the reason why, well I wish I knew.  Part of me had given myself a day off, with out really meaning too.  School holidays, hubby at home and I was just having to look after myself for lunch at work.  It was if I was giving myself the freedom to have what I want as Alan wasn't there to see me eat naughty food, and I could please myself as to what I had. ( Too much it would seem)

I also realised I am a bit of a secret eater, the only meals / food anyone saw me eat was after 6.30pm, only I knew how much I had consumed in one day.  Well now everyone can know and I am pleased to say today has been a lot better.  Not 100% mind, I am feeling the need to snack but have been having to argue with my will power again. i may blame mother nature and hormones and move on from it.  

I am now off work for a few days so need to try and keep on track while out of routine so going to make a big pan of homemade soup to keep me full and try not to be tempted with to many Halloween treats.

Let's hope my day of binging doesn't show too bad on Saturday after all not long til Christmas and I want a few more pounds off before then.

Dolittle xxx

Going Online

After nearly a year back at Weight Watchers I have decided to give WW Online a go.

Why ??

Well why not, over the last few months I have found getting to meetings more of a struggle than an enjoyment.  A mixture of Hubby working late so I don't stay as I have Jack, or something else comes up and becomes more important.  Then the meetings died down to very few people over the summer and i missed the support of other members, the meeting is small anyway so when only 3 or 4 people stay I wasn't coming away with anything.  Some weeks I was paying to stand on a set of scales - seems a waste.   And now the dark and cold nights are here and I really don't want to be going out on these nights so here I am an online member.

I didn't want to give up and I want to be subscribed to ww for when i get to goal and want to become a leader myself (well maybe). So after weeks of trying to decide what to do I decided to go online, £11.95 a month ( much cheaper than my meeting fees as i didn't have a monthly pass).  I am weighing at home every Saturday morning with Alan as my support, we are doing it together and he will keep me right. 

I have been online a week and I am already addicted to the WW app on my phone and Ipad, tracking everything as i go and not in my journal at the end of the day.  Its funny how seeing it on there makes it so much more real, you cant "tweak" or "guesstimate" how many pp are in things as the app is telling me how many. 

I have switched to have a few filling and healthy days, which are now alot more approachable for me than before.  I now choose them on busy days on a weekend, the kind of day when I know I will be too busy for snacking so no temptation to use weekly points, and too busy to have to worry about counting and measuring.  I still plan them in advance though to make sure I have the right things in.

I am loving Saturday morning weigh in's, weekends have always been my weight loss hot spots, the times it can all go wrong, then i would spend the next three days leading up to my midweek weigh in, either trying to starve myself, wracked with guilt, or thinking I had already blown it so start again Thursday.  Now if my weekend goes a little off track it can be my 49 weekly points, it was lovely last week not panicking for getting myself back on track for the Wednesday night.

My first week online resulted in another 3lb gone, this is more than i have lost in a few weeks, to the point I had been gaining again and heading backwards.  Making the decision to join online seems to have lifted a weight of my shoulders that I didn't realise I was carrying.  I feel good, I have had a great week and have another great week planned. 

It saddens me to think that my Yo Yo ing seems to have jeopardised my aim for 50lb this year, i was so determined to get there but I need to be realistic and just keep aiming to lose every week and not focus on how much, by when and for what.  Just for me to lose each week and get to goal sometime in the near future is enough.  No pressure !

Wish me luck x x x

Cooking it Slow . . .

My new favourite kitchen gadget is my slow cooker, to the point I have even bought a second smaller one.  

Big Cook Little Cook !!

 

I have had my bigger slow cooker for a couple of years but only ever made simple things in it, chicken in gravy or braising steak.  I was recently added to a facebook group for "Slow Cooker Saddo's" by a WW facebook friend, Sue, and my eyes were opened to a whole new world of cooking.  I thought slow cookers were for casseroles and soups but now i know different.

The lovely ladies at the weight watchers magazine kindly added a slow cooker recipe to the page with my column this month, Spanish Chicken and rice, and wow it was good.  I have now made it twice, modified the recipe to make it for one and the second time added Butternut squash chips and salad to fill my plate for no more points, my kind of food.  (This whole meal was only 9pp)

 

 

Tonight I have made homemade bread in the larger cooker to go with a huge pan of homemade bacon and lentil soup, warm, comforting food on cold, autumn nights, nothing nicer.  All of us liked the bread and i still cant believe how well it turned out.  I wouldnt make it every week as its not the lowest pointed bread at 3pp for 45g, but it was filling and really tasty.

 

 

Another success was Pulled Pork, great for a filling and healthy day so no counting or measuring.  I made mine into hot pork sandwiches inside WW petit pains, they were amazing.

A few things are not so weight watcher friendly, like the rice pudding I made but as long as I am cooking it I can easily work out the pro points per portion so I don't miss out on all the goodies I am making.

Jack wants me to make Nutella Swirls next and I want to try lasagne, the list is endless and I have never enjoyed cooking so many homemade meals as I am now.

Now to save for an Actifry or maybe ask Santa for one ;-)

Back to Basics

I have been unable to go to my weigh in tonight so I am unsure of how my week has gone, not too good if I go by my own assessment but then I wouldn't know as I haven't tracked. (slapped wrists I know)

What I have done this week is quite a lot of thinking, usually dangerous for me i know but all the same I have.  My week began with a few bad days and as the rollercoaster WW is I went through lots of stages and emotions as to why I do it, angry mainly as I should know better by now.  The whole "only half a pound" arguement kept rearing its ugly head and I realised I put too much pressure on myself to lose quicker than I do.

Why do I need more than half at a time?  I don't !  Aslong as its coming off and not going on I should be happy.

I then realised I have been doing this all year, setting myself targets of where to get to by certain dates and then when I don't I feel like a failure, which in turn makes me feel low, and then when I feel low I turn to food, no surprise there tho.

I also realised how much I do to try and show others I can do this, when stupidly I already know I can.  I know I will get to goal, no doubt in my mind it's just when.

So no more pressure, no more worrying what others think or feeling I need to prove myself by losing it fast.  I can only learn more by finding my way, no matter how long or hard, and the more I learn the more I can pass on if I ever follow up the idea of being a leader.

So here I am, new week, and I have decided its simply a week of back to basics.

Plan Shop Track

 

My challenge this week is to do what it says on the tin, weight watchers works if you do what it says, so I have planned as you can see from my pictures.  Both food plan and moving more plan ready to follow (let's not call it exercise as its evil lol)  I am out Saturday so no plan as I don't know where I will be and I have a training day next Wednesday so will play that by ear when I am there, other than that I am sticking to it and will share my normal menu pictures on Facebook for all to see.
This may not seem like much of a challenge but as I have gotten out of the habit of tracking i see it as an important challenge.

Here we go again, hoping to get to meeting next week if i am back from training, but if not I will find another one to make sure I know where I am at.
Dolittle x x 

September Challenge

Lets start with the good news, i lost 5lb tonight and i am over the moon with it.  Four weeks away from meetings and gained 4lb Then to lose it plus a little more the week after is amazing, just showing that if you get straight back into it you can stop it spiralling out of control.  Now to keep the momentum going.

Another month has passed, or near enough and it means I am one step closer to the end of 2013.  2013, my year to shine ! and as much as I feel I have gained a little of my sparkle back I am far from shining.  I will reach my 50lb by the end of the year, and don't doubt it but feel I need a little bit of a challenge to help get me there.  Don't get me wrong it's not my motivation, getting to goal is my motivation but short term focus gets you through each month.

So here I am setting myself, and anyone that wants to join me, a September challenge.  A short term goal, a little bit of something to drive us forward, keep me focussed and something to spend my week concentrating on.  

I challenge myself to 3 simple things:

1. Lose 7lb in September - I am giving myself 5 weigh in days taking me to the first Wednesday in October, just before my wedding anniversary.

2. Each week I will try at least one new food, whether it be a recipe, a ready meal, a vegetable, just something new that I haven't tried before, after all weight watchers is a lifestyle change so small changes are to be made.

3. Each week I will try something new in my attempt to Move More, Sit Less.  I recently described exercise as my WW Achilles heal, the one thing I can't seem to learn to love so time to try new things even if it is only once, I will try.

That's it, simple.  

17 weeks til Christmas brings home the reality of how long I have to lose my 19lb to reach my 50lb goal, it's a reminder of how fast the weeks and months are flying past, and before I know it I will be reflecting on 2013 and wondering if I achieved what I wanted.  So far so good !

The new magazine hit the meetings today, I have been moved to the members section in the back, especially there for members of weight watcheexcluding I can be classed as exclusive lol.  it's an amazing feeling being able to share this journey with like minded people who understand how it feels to struggle to lose weight.   

Night all, Dolittle x x 

Better late than never

Finally getting round to updating, only one word to describe my date with the scales this week - Gutted 

Half a pound, really only half a pound.  To say I wasn't amused was an understatement.  Tried so hard, was enthusiastic, motivated, positive, all of the right feelings, then half a pound Grrrrrrrrr.

So as I do in true WW fashion I have a few bad days, instead of doing the right thing and giving myself some great advice that I would have given anyone else, the simple it will catch up next week, or it's still a loss, or keep going and it will show more next week, no instead of going with common sense I went into a "sod it I am having what I want today, which went into two days. Ah why do I do it to myself.  

Stupid thing is I was out with my first WW leader on Thursday and when i didn't hesitate at the dessert board she asked " is this because of last nights weigh in". I said no just having a night off, she obviously knows me very well.

Well today is a new day, full of motivation again so planned my week, been shopping this morning and have spent all afternoon on the kitchen making batches of meals ready for this week.  So chuffed with myself, a £5 pack of extra lean mince has made 2 lasagne, 2 portions of savoury mince ready for shepherds pie and mince and dumplings for Alan and a huge bowl of chilli busy cooking in the slow cooker , the kitchen smells amazing and the feeling of satisfaction is making me feel great.  To the point I am typing so fast and making lots of mistakes, it's like a cooking adrenaline rush haha.

Not sure if it that makes make sad, but I can handle slim and sad lol

As for this weeks challenge I decided another new recipe was on the cards after my very successful Pulled Pork last week.  This week is Fanta Chicken and BBQ pulled pork, not to mention another omelette.  And trying to add in some fruit, not a fan of it, don't think it's worth eating what I don't enjoy BUT I know it's good for me and I am trying to encourage Jack to eat more so trying to lead by example.  Also trying to have different breakfasts as its so easy to have the same thing everyday.

As for exercise, well other than still thinking its evil I have decided on a new approach to exercise this week.  I realised last week that climbing the eiffel tower was a little ambitious but managed it by weigh in on Wednesday, (not that it showed at the scales) Not so much because I couldn't physically do it but time to fit it in was tricky for me.

I have always said I didn't have time for exercise, not being quite sure if i was just making excuses, but last week showed I don't have much time.  I was doing small sets of climbing the stairs then realising late at night I still had more to do, 11pm is not the time to be marching up and down your stairs like a pet elephant.

This week I have decided to do at least three sets of ten a day, whether it be 10 minutes walk in my lunch time, 10 minutes on my vibro machine, 10 times up and down the stairs, 10 minutes on the wii fit.  I can fit in small amounts during my day but I cannot fit in half hours here and there.  I often see people losing more than me, faster than me and I want to lose my weight faster then I realise they don't have my life.  My life is a full time working wife and mum,  leave home at 8am and return about 5.30pm,  feed my son and spend some much needed time with him, then make tea for Alan and I. By the time we are all done its nearer 8pm.  I don't want to or have time to attend 5 exercise classes a week, or time to go to the gym every other night, so I will just have to except my weight will come off slower than people that can do that.

Fingers crossed I haven't done too much damage in the last two days and can lose more than a stupid half pound this week.  (I know it's still a loss but it's not good enough grrr)

Right off out for a meal, no dessert for me this time tho x x x x x

Loving a Challenge

I am absolutely loving having this challenge ! 

My exercise challenge is to climb the Eiffel Tower before next weigh in, or the equivalent steps on my stair case.  (An idea I got from my Leader a few months back when she suggested climbing the Empire State Building). So I have over 1700 steps to do this week and it's harder than I thought.  I have been doing it in smaller batches of up and down the stairs 5 or 6 times and i can feel it in my legs, realising how unfit I am but pushing me to do the next ones.  The first day I didn't do my 22 sets but have caught up with myself today and will try and get ahead tomorrow as it seems easier on a weekend.

My food challenge is to try new recipes or to try something new so I am going to make pulled pork in the slow cooker tomorrow for Sunday lunch as we are out all day.  I hope it's nice or Alan & Jack will be cursing me.  Recipe was for BBQ pork but they don't like that so amending it to normal stock.

As much as my long term goal is simply to get to goal I like having short term mini missions as I call it.  If I was to keep telling myself I have 17 weeks to lose 19lb I would think its ages away yet and before I  know it I would have only 7 weeks and still need to lose 19lb.  This way I am looking no further forward than 5 weeks and know I want at least 7lb by then.

Setting myself a challenge has got me excited about WW again, I'm buzzing and the comments and encouragements others doing it with me on my facebook page is great, all in this together, climbing our way to being slim.

I can't wait to see the view of Paris when I get to the top !  I wonder where I can go next week . . . 

Breaking through those walls

Well the summer holidays are well and truly done, first day back to work today.  

I have had an amazing two weeks off with a fantastic week away then a great week at home.  Before my time off I was struggling with WW, not the plan but with my losses.  I felt like i had hit a bit of a brick wall, you know the ones when you have your momentum going and all of a sudden you can't go any further, well that was me.  Bored of meals, a little lazy with checking portion sizes and with cooking, I think we all do it when we feel a bit lighter and a little happier we forget why it's so important to lose weight.

I have not been weighed for four weeks, leaving me a little concerned about how much damage I have done but I can honestly say I haven't eaten any where as much as I would have this time last year.  I noticed when we were away, staying in a caravan, that we didn't eat as much junk food, breakfasts were pretty much as we would at home, no more english cooked breakfasts like we used to, no huge takeaways every night, and no need to snack on chocolate and crisps through the day.  It showed me how much we had changed without even knowing it.

Don't get me wrong I have eaten well, we have eaten out a lot as this is what we do as a family.  I haven't tracked at all and have enjoyed my time away from the plan but found myself looking forward to getting back on it.  Instead of thinking about what naughty things I could eat I found myself planning what meals I was going to make.  Even to the point of getting quite excited about it lol.  Oh how I have really changed.

Things were all good until the weekend, I was feeling good, positive and ready to get back onto the plan.  Alan said he would take us out for a meal to one of my favourite Italian restaurants, all was good until I was sat next to a mirror.  There I was in a lovely summer dress, thinking I looked nice, (well nice as i ever see myself looking) and I glanced sideways and saw myself.  I could have hid under the table there and then, I looked and felt huge, and like been slapped with a wet kipper, there was the reminder that I still had a long way to go.  For a while it made me a little sad  but then I realised it was the reminder I needed, and there the brick wall was knocked down and I am able to move forward again.

So here I am first day back at work, ready to rock the WW world and the guys at work had bought me cakes for my birthday last week, well obviously it would be rude not to sample them but it didn't spoil  my enthusiasm.  I came straight home and have made batches of homemade soup and lasagne ready to eat tomorrow and freeze the rest.  The slow cooker is prepped ready for chicken curry tomorrow.

Christmas is 18 weeks away, I still want to get to my goal of at least 50lb by then, so challenge set.

What can I say, bring it on !!!

Happy Birthday To Me

Another year older, maybe a little wiser and pleased to say a bit smaller.

Getting older doesn't worry me at all, it's just another birthday, a day to celebrate and enjoy cake.  Yes I have had cake too, currently mini chocolate brownies.  Working my way through the box is not good in the world of WW, but in Dolittle's world it's perfect.

I have always loved my birthday being in the middle of summer, I love the sunshine and have had many a BBQ as a birthday party, even for my 21st with a bouncy castle, you never get to old for Bouncy castles.  Good times !

This year I started celebrations early with a Birthday Beach Hut, a day of chilling out with friends and family, fish n chips, Ferrero Rocher ice cream, lots of sun and laughter.  it was a great day.  Then today I am having a day with my boys (hubby & son), started with breakfast in bed and off to the cinema and a meal later.  Jonny Depp on your birthday is always a treat lol.

Off for now, sorry for not many posts but on holiday so lots of days out

Back soon xxxx

My Affair With Food

I am in no doubt I have a relationship with food, now to decided if its a good one or bad.  Considering my weight I would say bad, so maybe time to turn it around and make it a healthy one.  Why am I questioning it you may ask, because to lose my weight and get to goal I need to be in a good relationship with food.

I use food as a reward, you know what I mean " ah I've been really good so I'll have a treat"   Did we not all get rewarded for being good when we were little with treats, usually in the form of sweets, no wonder we do as we do, we are all brain washed lol

Then it's the comfort, " I'm having a bad day so i need chocolate"  Do we really??? And does it comfort us, maybe for the two minutes it takes to inhale the galaxy ripple, or two oops, but the feel good factor doesn't last long.

Then punishment, after we do the above we then eat more, punishing ourselves for the lack of willpower in the first place.  Typically " I've blown it now anyway" or " I deserve to be fat after eating all that"    And the cycle continues . . .

Why did I start this blog post well because I am so bored with what I am eating, I feel like I am having the same meals over and over and it feels like it is effecting my weight loss.  The boredom is making me turn to things i have stopped having but now feel like i am craving.  Im not really but its easy to tell myself that because i dont know wha i want i will just have . . . . Today was a chicken fajita from the sandwich van, then a caramel from the vending machine, and just before writing this a sausage roll.  What on earth was thinking, at least if I am typing I can't eat.

In the beginning i was trying new things, it was all exciting and I was cooking new things.  I didnt even mind weighing everything and gettin out my calculator to check the points of everything I bought or ate.  but now,  is it that I am getting lazy, thinking I know it so don't need to check it all, or is it boredom of the same old things.  Both Alan and I have both said the same, we are sick of the same meals but can't think what else we want.  Maybe it's time to get the cook books out and try some new dishes. 

Been summer you would assume salads could be on the agenda, but as I don't like tomato or cucumber salad for me in the past was a plate of lettuce, topped with calorie laden coleslaws or potato salad, cheese, eggs and a nice crusty roll, not quite the way forward.  I am probably been a little harsh on myself as I do eat salad and i now make my own coleslaw but I eat it more because it is low in points than because I enjoy it.  I don't know about anyone else but whats the point in eating things we don't really enjoy just because it is low pp value, all it does for me is drive me towards something that does taste nice so I end up eating twice.  Salad has its place on my plate and that's at the side, next to the real food lol.

And as for Zero heroes, don't get me started on the lack of zero pp foods on my like list.  As I said I'm not a salad fan, and vegetables are what go on a Sunday lunch covered in gravy and that's about it.  Probably more to do with lack of trying new things, or experimenting in the kitchen but all the same it's limited.  I do now have Butternut Squash Chips, because they are 0pp but have started to sicken myself so will leave them alone for a while.  

Then there's fruit, putting aside the silly prices you pay for fresh fruit, it's messy on your hands, something I'm weird about (shivers just thinking about the mess) and apart from the occasional strawberry, peach or banana then it's not something I eat because I enjoy it. 

What does that leave me with, oh yes, sugar free jelly, and you may have guessed it I don't care for jelly either, unless in the bottom of a trifle.  Haha I laugh at myself and wonder how I manage to lose weight at all.

Now the truth appears, problems with my weight certainly weren't from overheating on vegetables and fruit lol, so I'm guess my love of carbs may be the cause.  Ah pasta, bread, potatoes now that's where my love is, a huge plate of comfort.

Well if nothing else I have just confirmed I have a very unhealthy relationship with food, but as I sit here laughing at myself, I realise that's ok because I am still losing weight, I will still get to goal and maybe just maybe that's why I love weight watchers, because I can have what I want and lose.

I am now having two weeks holiday with my boys,  which usually means eating out alot so fingers crossed I can maintain where I am and not do too much damage.  But maybe it's two weeks that will help me find some new ideas and refresh my love for cooking new meals, after all before we know it it will be Xmas (sorry I know it's too early to mention) and I have a 50lb target for the hit by the end of the year.

Right I'm off to the kitchen to see what else I shouldn't eat lol

Dolittle xxxx

Smiling !

Unlike my normal posts when i am sharing my view on something today is different and I am just sharing because It's nice to be nice and it's a good day, no specific reason just good.

Looking from the outside in you would think it hadn't been a good diet day, I have had one of those days when I can't get enough food.  The only good thing is I knew it was coming because yesterday was the same so i planned a day of snacking and grazing on low pp foods to get me though the day.  because it was planned it means it has been good day, finished off nicely with pizza, made on Warburtons thins and topped with various toppings.  Even made extra and shared them with kids playing outside with Jack, went down a treat too. result !

I think my uplifted mood may have a little to do with the countdown to my holidays, two weeks off work, with my boys (hubby and son) in what I call the Stewart Bubble.  Bliss !  3 days and counting and I can't wait.

On my desk at work I have a pad of daily teachings from The Secret and today's was about it taking more effort to have negative thoughts than to have ones that bring is joy, that hit a nerve with me so I have spent today thinking good things, being positive and. Have to say it feels good.  i spend to much time thinking about the things I don't like and it certainly doesn't make you feel any better.  Tomorrow I am going to smile like I am up to mischief, the kind of smile where people will wonder what I'm up to.

The saying " Smile and the World smiles with you " I think is true, try it, smile at someone long enough and they cant help but smile back, one side of their mouth at a time will turn up instead of down and without knowing why, they are smiling.  Same as if you say the word "Smile " over and over, you can't help but have a little smirk to yourself.  Well i do anyway, try it, a little feel good factor can go a long way and we can hope its contagious and we would all be feeling as good as I am today.

Signing out

Dolittle x x x

HOPE YOUR SMILING TOO xxx

Not Enough Time In A Day

i have so much to say but not enough time to write it !

Trying to get back here tonight x

So much support - I'm feeling the love - Thank You

As i am coming through a bad patch I feel it's time for some thank you's to those that have got me there.  There are too many to mention everyone but going to go with a few.

My work buddy who blackmailed me into packing in her class if I didnt have a good week, a little reverse psychology, just my kind of trick, Thanks Ally.
 

My online buddy who challenged me to losing three pound this week and to eat fruit not chocolate, mixed in with some extremely kind words and some fantastic pictures of Minnions hugging bananas, Thank you Lisa.

My meeting buddy who listens to me moan all the way to meeting and back, sharing food ideas and encouraging me every step of the way.  Thank you Sarah.

My Bestest buddy, not just for WW, she is always there with texts, emails and and ear when I need her, thank you Barney (Cera)

My Facebook page, wow, who knew something I started in January could be so comforting.  I currently have 177 people following it, and the comments, likes, messages and support on there is amazing.  I appreciate everyone for joining my journey - thank you to all of you. 

My son, god bless him, my star, he keeps measuring my waist with his arms telling me it's getting smaller as he can reach further round lol.  love you Jack x

Then is my hubby, my everything, he who has held me together when I was falling apart.  Who is now doing weight watchers with me and being the positive influence when i want to be bad, (well most of the time lol). Not many people see the gentle side to Alan but he is my rock and I love him for it x

Thank you, thank you, thank you

Dolittle xxx

 

Woo Hoo !!!!

Omg it feels good to be back in the game.  Weigh in tonight resulted in 3lb gone and I couldn't be happier, (well maybe if it had been the 5.5lb I have gained in the last three weeks but lets not be greedy lol)

I always want more but going to take my 3, grab it with both hands and run with it, no looking back just focussing on the finish line with that 50lb certificate being my pit stop on the way.  

The mind set is definitely back in the right direction, I wouldn't say 100% right but better than I have been.  I can now focus on meal plans for a few days ahead and it's helping get me through to next weigh in.  Even been a week from payday isn't going to stop my run of good weeks, planned a filling and healthy day tomorrow to use what's in the house, WW Bagel for breakfast, Chicken Pasta for lunch and Jacket Potatoes with Bacon and beans for tea.

Here's to another 3 next week, I need to up my activity, track everything as I have been a little lazy doing this and cut out the snacks, super strict with four weeks til my hols.

Wish me luck xxx

Feeling Hot Hot Hot !!!

I love the sunshine, to the point that I'm sure I am meant for sunnier climates on a more regular basis, Tenerife possibly lol.  I think its because I was born in the hot summer of '76.

It makes me feel good, the warmth, the days out, the BBQ's (not that I've had one yet, but I will) flip flops, when the little bit of a tan makes you feel like your glowing and you don't need to hide behind so much make up as your looking slightly more golden.  Ah bliss !

The down side is clothing, being big and dealing with the heat can be awkward.  I got thinking about this this week while at work.  Usually i can hide myself at work, nice loose work jacket to hide behind, perfect when you don't want to show the lumps and bumps in your work clothes.  This week it has become a too warm to keep it on, even though I suffered it a few days the jacket did come off.  And there it was, a huge reminder of how far I still have to go.  I unluckily sit opposite a two way mirrored window so i cant help but see my reflection when i stand up, i hated it.  The good feeling of losing two stone disappeared and I was left pulling at my clothes trying to hide again.  Such a shame as I was just starting to feel a little better about myself.  

I don't mind so much at home as its just my family and friends that see me but it doesn't stop the discomfort.  Fat thighs are not comfortable at this time of the year and bingo wings, omg where do i start with them lol.  Having said that I have bought a couple of summer maxi dresses, colourful but still big enough and long enough to hide behind.  As for the bingo wings, i am pretending they aren't there and that mixed with a little more exercises to tone them up I can convince myself they will be fine. 

Having said all this, feeling bad about it has also kept me focused on being good and doing something about it.  I have a holiday in 4 weeks and I am determined to go swimming with my son, something I dread every holiday.  I have a real panic going on at the thought of wear a swimming costume and have to make myself do it.  Not this year, I want to enjoy everyday and not miss out, hopefully I will have lost at least another half stone before then and can feel a little more comfortable and less like a beached whale.

Overall I'm feeling good and hopefully we have many more sunny days to come this year xxx

50lb - Here I Come !!!

And I'm off, i have found some motivation and while I have it I'm going to try and keep tight a hold of it.

At the beginning of the year I started my "2013 Bucket List". small goals to aim for this year to make me feel like I had achieved something.  Well the magazine was one so ticked that off, then the Race for Life which in a few weeks so there's another.  To wear a dress for my Mum & Dads Anniversary near the end of the year is on there too, still hopeful, just need the confidence and to find one I like.

One of my Weight Watcher goals was to get my 50lb certificate by the end of the year.  I have decided this is now my main ww goal for 2013, i need the drive and as much as the silver 7's are great they don't drive me enough. 

Not Mine I'm Afraid - You can Get Anything From Google !

 

This may seem a little ambitious as I am going backwards instead of forwards at the minute but I feel a change coming on, my mind seems clearer and my smile is lasting longer through the day so that brings me hope.



I have also reminded myself of why I am doing this and its for me, not for anyone else but me, and if i don't put in the effort it effects no-one else.

Its weigh in tonight, and After the scales not working last week and my two weeks of eating nearly anything in sight I am prepared for a gain, its just how much is the question.  I am not overly keen to go and pay someone to tell me I have put on BUT that's OK because finding out where I am at now will give me a mark to show how much I have lost next week.  I have been set a challenge off a good friend of mine to lose 3lb so mini mission commences. 

Right that's me for now, 50lb this year is the aim and by December I will have posted a picture of my real certificate and show it can be done.

Love Lisa xxx

The Biggest Loser - Dolittle Style

Feeling a little more positive this week, keeping focus on the now and not thinking too much about everything else.  Yes I am feeling low but the more I think about it the worst it makes you, so i have spent the last week trying to bring postive thoughts to the front and not dwell on the rest.

I have a rare day off thanks to Teacher training days and have to say I could easily get used to being a stay at home mum and wife.  I'm sure there should be a law that says I can be paid for doing such an important job lol.

I have decided to make myself a home gym plan, dont get me wrong I dont have a gym at home but I want to try and do more at home with what I have.  I recently watched a few episodes of the Biggest Loser and was inspired with how hard they work to lose the weight and get into shape.  I know its not the same as doing it yourself, but given the chance I would love to have a personal trainer to kick my butt into shape.  But alas they are not doing a UK version this year so I will need to kick it into gear myself.  (yes i have looked into it)

I am sick of making excuses for not doing so well, (sadly munching on a packet of crisps while typing this, how ironic and stupid all in one), its time to step it up a gear to get me to my next goal.  I have just spent a little time reading through some amazing weight losses on the facebook support group and made me realise i can lose what i want in this year if i just put in the right amount of effort.  It has made me realise I am not taking this serious enough and time to remind myself why i started back at ww and how much i want to get to goal.

Its funny how when you lose a little and start to feel a little better you start to forget why.

I am worth this journey, I can do it, and I Will.

Off to make a workout routine to get rid of the bingo wings  x x x

It's been a while

This is probably going to be too long, not make much sense to anyone but me and have a lot of spelling and punctuation mistakes.  I have a lot to say but my laptop has given up on me so blogging from my iPad and typing faster than I think.

I have been keeping away from my blog because I am not "in a very good place" with myself and have been thinking anything I write will come across negative.  Well I have now reminded myself that this blog is mine for me to express myself and my WW journey, for me to help myself put things into perspective and to hopefully make me feel better at the end of it, so here goes.

I am having a few bad weeks, not been able to focus on what's coming next, so when the next day or the next meal arrives I'm not ready.  Why ? I have no idea, wish I did and I could do something about it.  Then in the vicious circle I spend time trying to work out why, thinking things through too much and making myself worse.  I spend too much time trying to psycho analyse myself, i laugh at this as Alan says i analyse everything and everybody lol.I don't find many answers though so have come to the conclusion thinking is bad for you.  Then i make Food my comfort which is the last thing that will make me feel better long term.  

Alan is my rock, he is my everything and when I am falling apart he is the arms that hold me together.  He is doing so well on his diet, now 21lb gone, but when i am not focussing on me, I am also not focussing on his diet.  So mixed into the too much thinking I am having a little guilt trip that I am letting him down.  Wrong I know, and if he reads this he will tell me otherwise but you can't help the way you feel.   

Then, as if this isn't all enough, I think I have jeopardised my column with WW, I am not comfortable with the direction they would like to go in, and thought hard about keeping quiet about it as I really want to continue with it, but then realised if it wasn't my thoughts, feelings and opinions then all it is is my name and picture.  Fingers crossed they will call on me for the next month, I don't like to feel like a failure and want everything to be a success, it's a waiting game that is preying on my mind, again too much thinking .

I want to share my Dolittle's Diary as I feel it is the best way to show the real life journey of a weight watcher, my journey is different every month, actually every week and I am mostly inspired with new ideas to keep it fresh and new.  Or it's can be a long boring journey.  I think I may even add a tab to here for my daily diaries ..... There's a thought ( oh no more thinking)

I follow and believe in The Secret, following your dreams, believe anything is possible.  For me I am a magnet, how I am is how life is, takes some explaining but in short if I am negative, if I think bad thoughts and if I am complaining about things, then like a magnet I am attracting more of those things. Because I believe in this so much I am giving myself a hard time for being negative so have spent this week turning my thoughts around, which I believe has led me back to blogging and knowing it will all be ok.

Until now I haven't talked about this much but for those that do know or have realised, then I am grateful for the support, concern and friendship.  It's been lovely, thank you x x

As for my new WW family on Facebook, the support there is amazing, lots of people that understand how hard it is to stick to WW let alone when your not feeling your best.  I too thank you for your encouragement and support, you will know who you are x x

Now to get back to what's important, I had lost sight of my aim, to be happy, healthy and to get to goal.  No more worrying about what people think about me, my story or my weight loss.

I AM BACK, I WILL DO THIS, WATCH THIS SPACE

THANK YOU x x x 

A little insight into The Secret 

Diet On A Budget

The week before payday is always a diet challenge for me, cupboards are starting to look a bit empty and its time to spread what you have left in them over the last few days.  Not the option of having what you would like but having whats left. 

It's like a crossroads though, you either go down the road of eating whatever is in the house and when you gain at the scales you blame it on not having the right things in the house to be good

OR

You make the best of what you have and still count it all. 

Too many times I have taken the first road, telling myself I will have to wait til payday to refill the cupboards with all the low point, healthy goodies to keep me on track.  What that really means is all the low point snacks that I have extra to my normal meals, or the branded goods that are often twice the price but the same pro points.

Well not this time, I will prove that I can lose weight without spending a fortune. don't get me wrong its a challenge as I don't care what anyone says, being good, for me at least, is more expensive. Fruit being a perfect example, being a zero hero, i would love to keep refilling the fruit bowl but to have a nice variety is proving costly.  Yes if i was able to shop around, or maybe go to a market I would ind cheaper items but I work full time to finding extra time to go around different shops is tricky.

I find that the lower pointed items are the ones made by big brands so then you pay more for them. This of course tends to be for convenience foods, if cooking a recipe from scratch, using fresh ingredients can keep the costs down, but again I don't always have time to venture into the kitchen as much as I would like, so convenience foods it sometimes has to be.

I am going to make it a mini mission to try and cut my food bill without effecting my weight loss over the next few weeks, saving for our summer holidays is a great incentive to save a few pennies. 

I won a Weight Watchers Smart Cook Book last week through the Twitter feeds so will look forward to it arriving and hopefully it will help me with my cooking on a budget.

The hardest bit will be cutting back on my terrible addiction for Diet Pepsi / Coke.  I drink far too much and don't even want to work out how much I spend on it.  I am sure someone once told me too much sweetener can slow down your weight loss, or maybe i just imagined it but i know too much caffeine isn't good for me so I am also going to try and cut down on this. 

So simply,  I am hoping to Lose Lbs while Saving £'s. 

I like a challenge x

Got my Mojo Back

I have to admit I have been losing a little of my motivation in the last few weeks, more to do with my mood than the plan.  I am feeling a little frustration and too many negative feelings for no apparent reason and was finding it hard to focus... (Time to read The Secret and top up my PMA)
BUT, its back, the Mojo has returned and I am ready to get back to rocking and rolling the Weight Watchers way.

I beat a bank holiday, granted I stayed the same but after eating out 6 times in one week, Chinese, Italian, Sunday lunch, Fish n Chips, McDonalds & Pub meal - I am very pleased with a STS.  I did get slightly annoyed with myself when eating out, I had great intentions to ask for smaller portions when i could but when it came down to it didnt, mainly because I felt a little awkward, as though I was making a fuss, but not next time.  I will make it my personal mission to ask for half portions where possible, after all it is my ww journey that is effected by my choices, time to change the bad habits and make new ones.

To make sure my week doesnt come back to haunt me I decided to go back to basics, Plan It & Track It - Simple really.  I think when you're a few months into the plan you can a little lazy and start getting a little cocky about it, thinking you know it all and you can point without writing it down.  So I have planned my week, I am sticking to my plan which I know can be a little boring but I like boring if it means I lose weight. 

Our meeting this week was about activity level and again i had stopped thinking about it and the pedometer had been put aside.  Well its back on today, activity points earned 2, maybe 3 if a do a few laps of my living room before bed lol, 6695 steps taken.  I never seem to do many steps when at work, sitting at a desk would have that effect so going to make the most of a day off tomorrow and get out there and do a few more.

More meal plans, more exerise

I feel fantastic today, one good day and the spirits are feeling lifted and the motivation is high.

 

 I will not give up, I will lose my 50lb this year and I will get to goal next year
Watch This Space

Happy Days

Just wanted to share my joy of hitting my 2 stone mark, seems to have taken so long to get here but after looking at my progress tab on here I seem to be averaging a silver seven approx every 6 weeks so I cant complain at that.




But .... i would like to up the pace a little, I am trying to move a bit more while training for the Race for life, even managed a little jogging today (just a little) which was tough but felt great afterwards.  1.5 miles in 23 minutes, mix of fast walking and jogging.  now to improve on it over the next few weeks.



Doing a small mini mission for summer, to go inline with the WW Summer Confidence book, in 8 weeks I would love to lose my next stone, realistically I am looking at half a stone at my current pace so if i up the level of activity and be extra careful on portion sizes and nibbling on things that i conveniently forget i have eaten I can hope for a stone.

Another motivation I have been given this week is I have been invited back to WW Magazine for another photo shoot in 6-8 weeks, perfect incentive to lose some more, tone some more and gain some more confidence.



Here's to the next silver 7, to a good bank holiday weekend and a slimmer summer xxx

Who'd think i was on a diet

 

I may have not felt very chatty last week but i shared alot of my meals on my Facebook Page.

I am not the best cook in the world but i do enjoying cooking and have found myself wanting to make new dishes and experiment a bit more in the kitchen since re-joining weight watchers.

 

Alot of what I have is simple food that I try to make look nice on the plate so I feel I am eating something a little different. After lloking back through my week I realised I had eaten some lovely meals and hadnt felt like I was on a diet at all.

 

 

Mayflower Chicken Curry, Rice, Butternut Squash Chips & WW Naan Bread 17pp

Cheese & Bacon Pie, Salad & WW Garlic Bread 15pp

Sweet Chilli Chicken Steak Sandwich & French Fries 15pp

Homemade Crustless Quiche, New Potatoes & Salad 10pp

Quorn Burger On a Ciabatta Roll with Homemade Wedges 12pp

Homemade Veg Soup 9pp

Fish, Chips & Mushy Peas 17pp

 

If doing Weight Watchers means I eat meals like this, then I'm on to a winner !



A Week At The Fair

I haven't been on here for a little while, a little bit of not knowing how to put how i feel in words.

Last week was an "iffy" week and i don't mean weight loss wise, I was feeling a little low.  I have no idea why, just one of those weeks where everything feels worse than it is and hibernation seems like a good answer.

Because I try my best to be a positive person i didn't feel writing about negative thoughts would be very productive for me, so kept away.  It was like being on a Helter Skelter, once you sit on those mats there is only one way to go and that's down, no matter how much you want to climb up you cant stop yourself on the slippery slide down.

Well I am pleased to say I am very lucky to have a very supportive hubby, who knows when I am falling apart and makes a point of helping to hold me together. 

Next i had a few days of riding a roller coaster, brilliant days which could have a huge dip in mood depending on what happens around you.  The slightest thing, even a thought can make your mood drop.  Those ups and downs don't half shake you up and i cant say i enjoyed it much.

Finally i have decided to ride the Carousel, a nice gentle ride with slight ups and downs but nothing to traumatic.  I am a perfect example of what you see on the outside isn't always how it is on the inside, I have never shared these things before except with my hubby but why not, these weeks effect my ww journey too.

Trying to stick to plan on the bad days is a challenge, all you want is to eat take away and snack on rubbish, to tired to cook and not caring like you should. Again, Alan kept me on track. Now he is following the plan with me I am finding that i don't give in to temptation as easily.  I did have a Cadbury's caramel, but that one bar would have been three a few weeks ago, bless him, I wish i had his will power.

Very happy to say I feel back to being me, happy, positive and fully focused. 

Lucky or not ?

All i can say is "phew " !

I am feeling a huge sigh of relief after staying the same at last nights weigh in.  I had another bank holiday blow out, so feel very lucky not to have gained.

In one weekend I ate out 5 times, Chinese, Italian, Fish n Chips & McDonald's and a picnic, that doesn't include the bag of Tiger Nuts and 2 x Ice cream cones.

Why have I stayed the same, well other than luck, I would say that as much as this list looks really bad it wasn't when i look through my journal.

Friday I went out for a Chinese meal, which because I had planned it was in my daily points.

Saturday was Fish n Chips at the beach, but I chose a children's portion of cod bites, then went on to give 2 away so i ate only one with small chips. Again in my daily points but set a few weekly aside as I wasn't too sure if i had allocated enough.

Sunday we had a picnic, all pointed and then walked over two miles around a local lake.  Tiger nuts on the evening which would have been weekly points.

Monday was the day that was over my points and totally unplanned. We went to McDonald's for lunch as it was convenient while out and about.  We did follow this with a long walk at Northumberlandia, The Lady of the North, to earn some extra activity points.  Then to Morpeth park in the afternoon followed by an Italians which would have been way over as the pasta portion size was definitely not average, but fabulous all the same.

What i am saying is 4 out of my 7 days were out of the norm, but all together they weren't as bad as i thought on first glance.  Maybe if we don't push it every week, weight watchers really is as flexible as i believe and will allow for bank holiday weekends after all.

Saying that, i am still on my best behaviour this week in case the meals out catch up with me. 

WW Halo is now been worn and hopefully wont slip.

Wish me luck x