Feeling Hot Hot Hot !!!

I love the sunshine, to the point that I'm sure I am meant for sunnier climates on a more regular basis, Tenerife possibly lol.  I think its because I was born in the hot summer of '76.

It makes me feel good, the warmth, the days out, the BBQ's (not that I've had one yet, but I will) flip flops, when the little bit of a tan makes you feel like your glowing and you don't need to hide behind so much make up as your looking slightly more golden.  Ah bliss !

The down side is clothing, being big and dealing with the heat can be awkward.  I got thinking about this this week while at work.  Usually i can hide myself at work, nice loose work jacket to hide behind, perfect when you don't want to show the lumps and bumps in your work clothes.  This week it has become a too warm to keep it on, even though I suffered it a few days the jacket did come off.  And there it was, a huge reminder of how far I still have to go.  I unluckily sit opposite a two way mirrored window so i cant help but see my reflection when i stand up, i hated it.  The good feeling of losing two stone disappeared and I was left pulling at my clothes trying to hide again.  Such a shame as I was just starting to feel a little better about myself.  

I don't mind so much at home as its just my family and friends that see me but it doesn't stop the discomfort.  Fat thighs are not comfortable at this time of the year and bingo wings, omg where do i start with them lol.  Having said that I have bought a couple of summer maxi dresses, colourful but still big enough and long enough to hide behind.  As for the bingo wings, i am pretending they aren't there and that mixed with a little more exercises to tone them up I can convince myself they will be fine. 

Having said all this, feeling bad about it has also kept me focused on being good and doing something about it.  I have a holiday in 4 weeks and I am determined to go swimming with my son, something I dread every holiday.  I have a real panic going on at the thought of wear a swimming costume and have to make myself do it.  Not this year, I want to enjoy everyday and not miss out, hopefully I will have lost at least another half stone before then and can feel a little more comfortable and less like a beached whale.

Overall I'm feeling good and hopefully we have many more sunny days to come this year xxx