The New Fat Photo

When you see a photo of yourself, one taken by someone else and you have no say in the position of the camera to hide the chins, that kind of photo.  Well that was me yesterday.  I saw this one and god it hit me hard.

Shocking, awful, ugly, and most of all FAT.

Its funny, and not ha ha funny, but weird funny how we can be blind to how we look.  We can be huge and not see it and in the same sense can lose it all and still see the fat us.  Well this photo has sickened me even more than I already was.

I have been unsure about blogging about my weight loss for a while, not wanting to feel a failure for always "starting again", for never succeeding at reaching my goal and not wanting to feel I am repeating myself.

When I started writing this blog, back in 2013 it was to get into the ww magazine but I found I loved having somewhere to express my feelings and not worry about the judgement you often get with being yourself, so here I am again, starting over, not giving up, expressing how I feel in the words I want to use and not caring about judgement.

This is my weight loss journey, still a roller coaster, still really hard to do but still trying and determined one day I will get there.

Sadly it has taken this photo to get me back on here.  Its such a shame as the photo has come from an amazing day out and is now a little tarnished by this, BUT if I can use it as motivation then a positive can be made from a negative situation.

First post over, just as tough as standing back on the scales but its done.

Weigh in tomorrow night, see what damage this week has done, a lot after the marathon overload of beige food today to console myself for being fat, yeah no logic there but I'm complicated, say no more.

Lisa x